I believe, truly believe, that my daughter's life will be an amazing story. She has already done and will continue to do incredible things. But there's still a mommy inside of me who doesn't want "extraordinary". Some days, I dream of "normal", of "easy". I long for "problems" like whether my child is getting her fair share of playing time in the soccer games.
Today is one of those days. Sam ran a fever earlier this week. Now she's complaining of headaches, and has been having a strange facial twitch. The pediatrician called the neurologist. The neurologist is working us in on an emergency basis. I'm quite sure this means another MRI, complete with scary anaesthesia.
Meanwhile, our full-time nanny has just found an awesome part-time job in a medical office - her dream - so I will only have half as many of her hours to help with the kids while I earn a living and make it to all of Sam's appointments. I am genuinely very happy for her; in fact, I referred her for the job. And the reduced schedule is a blessing of its own sort, as I recently lost my largest client due to their corporate relocation, and I really couldn't afford a full-time nanny anyway.
I know that God provides our daily bread. I know we receive what we need, when we need it, if we look to him. I know that Sam will live the best life she is able to live, and that she is God's child too. So, why is my stomach in knots and my heart beating faster today?
These are the days for mind over matter.
"Feed your fears, and your faith will starve. Feed your faith, and your fears will."
- Max Lucado, from Fearless
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